Today starts a BIG performance art piece that I am doing over the next 13-days, March 14-26th, and I really hope you follow along… I figured I would take the time to explain what, and why I am doing this… so I’m baring my soul.
To be honest, I haven’t been doing very well lately… My mental health has suffered, as well as physical. I’m not sleeping good, not eating good… There’s times when I’m able to make it to the grocery store to buy some good food (my favorites are when I can afford to make a good mediterranean salad, or get my omega-3 fatty acids by eating some RAW salmon with teriyaki sauce, hmmmm!). I eat chicken a lot cause it’s cheap at the store up the street. But then there’s times when I run out of money, or can’t get to the store and that’s when I’m eating rice with a bit of seasoning, or peanut butter on a spoon… sometimes that’s literally all I got… for days in a row… The high price of eggs fucks with me too because I usually like to have an egg or two for breakfast, pancake mix is cheap too even though I have to get the gluten free box that costs twice as much. I love bacon too, but I usually cut the whole package in half so that I can fool myself into thinking one piece is actually two! I stretch it out that way. All that said, those are the good meals, when I got food in the fridge… There are days when I go hungry, although thankfully those are only a few days here and there when I’m just absolutely out of money or can’t get to the store. After my Van broke down but Before my phone broke, I could use a store app to order food delivered to my door for an extra $10 fee.
Recently, my phone vibrated-off the table during band practice, ugh! It was already completely cracked, and that drop was its finale… Having no phone has hindered my work, disconnected me from friends, family, clients and meetings, and just about everything I do depends on me having a phone! Also, as I alluded to earlier, my van broke down the other day, suddenly and seemingly for no reason! It has been running fine, for a while, no problems at all… but on the day I was able to finally deposit a little bit of money in the bank to cover some late bills, it just suddenly stopped running in the middle of the street… no warning… no perceivable reason why. So I spent what last bit of money I had to get it towed home and there it has sat since. I tried to look it over a couple times looking for something that I could fix, or get fixed… but with my limited knowledge I haven’t figured out any issue that would keep it from starting – it turns over so I know the starter and battery and charging system are ok, but it doesn’t engage, so it’s either a fuel or spark issue… I’ve got $10 of gas in it… still nothing happens… so I don’t know… And to top it all off, since I got no money coming in lately, my bills are overdue and near their cut off date.
Sooo… with my van broke down… Phone smashed… Empty fridge… Piling bills… Working 24/7 but no money coming in… All that is starting to become an overwhelming list of stressors and circumstances that has brought my mental health levels way, way down! I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate, I can’t get anything done, I’m late with everything, work is backing up because I can only do so much in the 24 hours of each day… and I don’t know what to do! I’m at the point… it feels like the lowest point I’ve been in for a while… and I’m stuck, brain fogged, feeling lost and pointless… asking myself:
Why Am I Doing ALL This?
I work everyday, all day, from wake to sleep, all week… working on JOKERJOKERtv keeping me going. If you have been following along over the last year or so you’ve probably seen me working on turning JJtv into an actual legal business, an LLC or whatever… I’ve been writing the business plan, even started implementing some parts of the business plan, even without any funding in place. I hoped that writing and enacting elements of this business plan would jump start things so that eventually the “money would just roll right in…” as Mudhoney put it, lol. Basically the business plan relies on donations from the community, local business sponsors and advertisers, plus a lot of volunteer efforts from the crew, who are also hoping to eventually earn some money for all their hard work, same as me. I’m realizing that it’s going to take finding an experienced sales-person to hit the road to meet with business owners, build relationships, and make sales that can earn them a commission… their job will be to go out there and get the money to fund the payroll. I managed to get a few sponsors on my own, and have found small grants which helped tremendously when those came around… so I’m fairly confident that if I had the time, or if we had the right sales-person, we’d have more funds coming in for the studio!
Another way this business can earn money is by helping to produce other people’s ideas! A few people who have been guests on JJtv have seen the value we offer in that regard… So a couple times I’ve had friends give me $50 here and there to run their livestream or record and edit their videos, and while I’m extremely thankful for those jobs, they are few and far between still… I have also volunteered my time helping local non-profits by producing live streams for their events, as an in-kind sponsorship through JJtv which helps us get even more experience and exposure, but doesn’t make any money… yet.
Anyways… I wrote all this out, mostly for myself cause it helps me work through it all, but I’m also publishing it publically to kind of lay it all out there in the open… give it some air… and bare my soul.
I’ve had people tell me to “just get a job”, or they hate on me because they think I beg for donations and handouts while not doing anything… which of course means not working a “normal” job like they do. It’s hard hearing that from close friends who I thought understood and applauded my efforts as an artist, as a curator, and as someone who genuinely tries to make the world a better place, help struggling artists find opportunities, even more than I do for myself sometimes… I mean, damn, I’m so busy working hard for others’ benefit that I don’t do, or promote, my own art… anyways… that all brings us to my point…
The Story Behind “Sinking Ship”
Over the next 13 days I’m producing a piece of art… a whole project in fact. With multiple pieces of art… It’s a whole campaign! I will be producing a livestream performance, creating a zine, making a couple pieces of handmade art, and more… all to promote the release of “Sinking Ship” a new song and music video made in collaboration with Bryant Perez!
A couple of months ago Bryant Perez came to me with the idea of doing a collab track with Mr Blank, after doing the same with a couple other artists in the community… and I was intrigued! I’ve had this idea of producing a project that’s a mix between hip hop and experimental before, but I’ve never pursued it past recording my one-and-only hip hop track called “Money Rolls” some time ago. It was a bit of a joke, in a way, about struggling to find enough money, digging in the couch or begging on the street for a little change to roll up in coin wraps (aka money rolls) to go buy a bag of weed. I made a beat with some circuit-bent toys on my loop station and mumble-rap’d my lyrics onto a cassette tape that has since been lost somewhere in all my junk… maybe one day it’ll turn back up and I can release it.
Bryant and I got together to record some of my noise, which he then used to create a beat and wrote a song called “Sinking Ship” and it perfectly captured what I personally have been struggling with myself. As you may have guessed, or know yourself, I’m NOT the only one who feels this way, or is going through hard times… So many people, not only artists, are struggling with so many things, struggling just to survive these days! Bryant’s lyrics hit the nail square on its head for me! When he presented his rough draft to me I knew right away I wanted to contribute a line of vocals to the track as well, and so in my infamous “Rat Babies” growl, I screamed out the line “I AM THE SINKING SHIP!” for the break in the song, it’s the part in the song where everything crumbles apart, where the hull finally gives in to the pull of the abyss below the raging storm, lost at sea and helpless… but the story of the track doesn’t end there… There’s a small sliver of hope left in the end, but you’ll have to wait to see the video when it all releases on March 25th, 2025.
The Adventure… A slow descent into Madness!
With the track done, and after months of filming and editing, I finally finished a music video that truly tested my resolve! I still felt like there was one more missing piece that would make it all complete… So I wrote a story that’s more in the style of a “ship’s log” or journal of someone lost at sea in an everlasting storm that threatens the person’s sanity and eventually their life… as seen in the video. It’s the story that leads up to the Sinking Ship…
That brings everything up to today, as I begin a 13 day performance piece I’m calling: “SHIP’S LOG: Sinking Ship”. Over the next 13 days I will be posting and publishing the complete adventure across my Mr Blank websites and social media channels. The performance will consist of journal posts, a livestreamed noise/theatre performance, images and art that I will produce over the next 13 days. I’m even doing a “Sinking Ship Takeover” of JOKERJOKERtv on March 20th… and it all leads up to the official release of the Bryant Perez and Mr Blank track and music video that we produced over the last couple months. The track will be available everywhere on all major platforms, and the Flagpole Magazine here in Athens GA will even be debuting the video on March 25th. It was all paid for out-of-pocket and by stretching our resources to the max!
The physical pieces of art that I am producing during this performance campaign will be made available as rewards to anyone who donates to the campaign. You do not have to donate to experience the performance, but if you do just know that I am extremely grateful for every penny and it will all go right back towards making sure JOKERJOKERtv stays on-the-air, as I continue to create art through the struggle.
With this campaign I hope to raise the fund to cover the costs of creating, copyrighting, and distributing the official track with Bryant Perez. Above that I hope to raise funds to feed myself, get a replacement phone, pay some past due bills, and maybe even get my van looked at and fixed… anything above that will go toward the art supplies I need for my NEXT art project… I got a really cool idea I want to do… more on that coming soon.
To experience the whole performance you will have to check back daily to see new posts. Sometimes there will even be multiple posts per day, so if you aren’t paying attention you might miss some of it. Your best bet is to like and follow and subscribe to ALL my social media portals (FB, IG, YT) and follow along with the SHIP’S LOG page from my website, where you can donate (like buying a ticket to the show) and get rewards! If you aren’t able to donate, please take the time to at least post about or share your favorite elements of this performance on your own social media profile to help me build an audience, because honestly… I worry no one will even care much at all about my art, my performance, my efforts in the community… and that disconnect contributes to contribute to my recurring mindset that maybe I should just give up on all of this…
Or I don’t know, maybe it’s all just good enough that I’m doing it for myself…
Please respond if you are getting this message…
The storm seems to be getting worse… I’m not even sure whether this radio is working…
Hello…?
Hello… Is anyone out there?
RELEASE DETAILS
“Sinking Ship” release date: March 25, 2025
Music, Vox: Bryant Perez
Noise, Vox: Mr Blank
Video by: Numb Blink Films
Featuring: Mux Blank, Bryant Perez
Trailer: https://youtu.be/R64qaPJm42A
Official Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6znVmTl6BI
SHIP’S LOG Blog:
https://mrblankisdead.com/category/mr-blank/sinking-ship/
Crowdfunding Campaign:
https://www.paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=34JCH8SERTNY2
“Sinking Ship” FB Event Page:
https://www.facebook.com/events/624826853499442/
Mr Blank Links:
https://mrblankisdead.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@mrblankisdead
https://mrblank.bandcamp.com/
https://www.instagram.com/muxblank/
https://www.facebook.com/mrblankisdead
https://www.facebook.com/muxblank
Bryant Perez Links:
https://bryantperezmusic.com
https://www.youtube.com/@BRYANTPEREZMUSIC
https://www.instagram.com/bryantperezmusic/
https://www.facebook.com/BryantPerezMusic/