I don’t know what to do… I thought that if I just stuck with it, keep pushing on, keep doing, keep my eye on the prize… I really thought I would get there. I really thought I would succeed. But now it’s all crumbling down around me, there’s no solid ground to stand on… I feel the pull of the abyss below me.

I thought that this was something I could do, something I cared about, something I was good at…

I just can’t do this anymore…

I feel panic all the time. When I do sleep I wake up in a panic… and I can’t sleep but a split moment before the turbulence wakes me again…